


Torture

by CasualWinchester



Series: Crush [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Break Up, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dirty Dancing References, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Films, Fluff, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Manipulative Camille Belcourt, Misunderstandings, Past Abuse, Past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Romance, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:45:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9349583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualWinchester/pseuds/CasualWinchester
Summary: It's all going so well for Alec Lightwood. He is making it in the work place, his family is happy, his father is out of the picture finally, and to top it all off he has his wonderful new boyfriend and their blossoming relationship. However things in his life always want to knock him down a peg or two. Enter a bitter EX named Camille Belcourt.





	

 

 

**Torture.**

(Set a month after the last part) 

  
Settling into living life with Magnus and Raphael all felt very natural, like it was just something I was supposed to do. I fit into their lives as they did in mine, not that I had much going for me.

The first couple of days were weird.

I at first moved my small uncomfortable single bed into the small room that Magnus and Raphael used to store things they wanted to get rid of. All of my stuff fit into one side of the room as it only consisted of a bed, wardrobe and a desk. Magnus was shocked that I had nothing at all that could work as a source of TV. Sure I had my laptop but the only thing I used it for before moving here was for work. I didn't have time to watch anything like TV, I had so much work to do and when I wasn't working I was just hiding out from my father.

Soon though Magnus took it upon him to make my room a little more homely. He painted it a dark blue color and set out a couple of photos of me with my family, carefully picking out the ones without my father in them. He then bought me bed sheets that were no longer a faded grey color, he changed them into a maroon color. He then bought me little things to make it feel more like a room, candles that smelt like different spices and sometimes ones that would remind me of him.

One day he came barging into my room in the middle of the night when I was up working on something on my laptop. He took the machine right out of my hands and started grumbling about how he couldn't possibly sleep until he knew I had some sort of human entertainment. He logged into his Netflix and made me my own account under his name. It was very sweet and every so often I see that he has allowed himself onto my account and has added things onto my list, things he thinks I would like to watch or just some things he needs me to watch.

I have watched the majority of what he has told me too but I have a small list of the shows and films he wants me to watch, written down on a small sticky note in my note book, with all of the ones I want to ask him to watch with me but I'm just too afraid to ask. It's steadily getting longer and Magnus keeps asking why I haven't tried any of them. I want to tell him why but every time I get the chance, I become to shy and end up blurting out some comment like I have too much work to do or something like that.

Speaking of watching Netflix.

I come home from one long day at work to find that the whole group has decided to come over. They are all watching some comedy show about the 70's. No one noticed me walk in because the TV was so loud, so I take the time to admire what I have manage to gain in the past month of my life.

Friends who all care for me enough to help me through everything I have been through recently. My brother and sister, not that I didn't have them before, now I just have them in a better way. I can enjoy my time with them now that I'm not scared of my father and what he will do to me, and how I am no longer scared that they will be ashamed of me because of how I felt or who I felt feelings for.

Speaking of Magnus. He has been the best thing of all. I have never met someone quite like Magnus, he is special to me in so many ways, in ways that I can't even tell him. I wish I could because he deserves everything and I should be the one to give it to him after everything he has done for me. I love it when I am able to let my guard fall around him enough that I can tell him all the things he deserves to hear. He gets this huge and beautiful smile on his face that makes me fall harder for him. I want to make him smile like that as much as I could, every single day of my life. The fact that I feel this way scares me, but it's the kind of fear that I want to welcome.

A quick glace over everyone shows that I have been seen by Catarina, I know that because she smiles brightly at me and sits up from where she was lounging against a slightly unhappy looking Ragnor.

"Look who decided to show!" She gets up and comes over to hug me, but she is quick to pull back and look at me. "Alec sweetheart, you are freezing!" She rubs my arms slightly as if trying to heat me up.

"Cat please stop feeling up my boyfriend, I'm pretty sure he doesn't swing that way." Magnus is still sitting in his large purple armchair but he has turned around on his knees until he is facing us. When I look at him he holds out his hands and makes lazy grabby motions at me.

I smile at his childishness, then I move back from Catarina so I can cross over to him. As soon as I get close enough to him he is reaching up to pull me down by the lapels of my coat. He presses a soft kiss to my lips that lets all the tension of the day just leak out of my system. It's over quickly but when it's done he rests his forehead against mine.

"Hello to you too," I say softly before closing my eyes and leaning against him a little more.

"Missed you, always gone for so long." He complains before leaning down to unzip my coat, once it is undone I allow it slip from my shoulders and to the floor.

"Guys, do remember that we are all here before you start stripping, please." Jace whines and I just know that he is hiding his face in Clary's hair.

I laugh at him before pulling away from Magnus to pick my jacket up from the floor. I then turn in the direction of my bedroom, I hear Magnus get up and follow me to my room.

Once we get there he just stands in the doorway, pouting at me and watching as I find something more comfortable to change into. "Are you going to do more work?" Magnus asks as he travels further into the room. He sits at the desk and picks through the books sitting on top of it

"It was my plan." I say as I yank off the jumper I was wearing, allowing the cold air of my bedroom to hit my skin, making me shiver.

Before I even have time to consider pulling on the fresh t-shirt I had planned on wearing, two warm arms come around my waist to pull me back against a warmer body, Magnus rests his head on my back as he hugs me.

"But why would you want to work when you could cuddle with your neglected Boyfriend." Magnus sighs against my back, the heat from his body and his breath, contrasts against the coldness of my skin, leaving Goosebumps in their wake. "Please Alexander, just for a little while. We can watch anything you want." Magnus tries to bargain with me. It hurts to know that he thinks I don't want to do things with him, when really it's just that I always chicken out before I can. I hate that it has gotten to the point though where he thinks he has to bargain with me to be able to do things together.

"I don't think the others out there would agree to what I want to watch." I turn around in his arms until I am facing him, it also allows me to wrap my arms around his neck as I look down at him. The height difference between us is something I have grown to love, not in a condescending way, I just like being able to lean down to kiss him or when he reaches up to wrap his arms around my neck to pull me down to him. It's just something I found that I have liked, it's almost as if we're working on getting what we want. It makes no sense to anyone but me.

"And why ever not?" He asks as he leans up on his toes to rest his head against mine. I lower my arms to his waist, holding him to me tightly so he wouldn't put too much strain on his legs, and I liked holding him.

"Because they're all those silly romance films you keep suggesting for me," he laughs slightly before moving his arms to come up around my neck, pulling my head closer to his which allows his nose to touch mine gently in what he refers to as an 'Eskimo's Kiss'.

"My dearest Alexander, you wound me," Magnus shakes his head softly in mock hurt, "Those are some of the best romance movies to ever exist in this universe!" His eyes meet mine and I see nothing but humor in them.

"I won't believe it until I see it." I state which makes him laugh again. As much as I love his laugh, I regret saying what I just said because a moment after I have said it, he is pulling away from me.

"Well, we better get started then Alexander, we have a lot to get through." He makes his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" I ask. I hope he is not expecting me to watch all of these classic love films with that lot out there, the last thing I want to is spend a night watching sappy romance films with people like Clary, Lydia and Simon in the room, I know them well enough to know that they will cry no matter what.

"I'm going to put my phone away darling, I don't want anything to interrupt my time with you." He says casually before making his way out of the room.

The way he said it makes it seem like it was nothing. That him wanting to spend interrupted time with me was something obvious, but to me it meant the world.

All the little things that Magnus does for me, still leaves me a little speechless and in awe of him. I've never really had someone pay this much attention to me and like it before, it's nice, I love the feeling of being wanted.

After a moment of standing there, feeling a little flabbergasted. I pull myself together enough to pull on the clean shirt and cotton pajama bottoms, that Magnus had previously distracted me from. After that I just kind of stood around, unsure of what to do with myself until Magnus came back. I was surprised however when a couple of minutes after Magnus left, I received a text from him.

"Darling, as much as I would love to be in your bed, the lack of TV in your room will make this whole experience a little difficult, meet me in my room xxx ;)"

I smile at the message, my face blushes slightly at the comment he made at the start. It implied that we were not doing something as innocent as watching a film. I mean I would also like to do that but I just don't think I'm quite ready for it yet.

I look over that message one last time before placing my phone on the bed and leaving the room.

I had to walk through the living-room. The others were still watching the same show they were watching when I came in, but this time it seems like they were waiting for me to show up. At least Isabelle was anyway.

She was sitting bolt upright in her seat, watching the entrance way for my arrival. It was slightly creepy to see her sitting like that.

"Hello big brother, coming to join us?" She asks with a knowing smirk on her face. It gets even wider as she watches me fluster as I try to come up with an answer for her, I was too embarrassed to flat out say that Magnus and I were just going to have some time to ourselves in his room. It implied way too much that I didn't want her ever knowing about.

"Don't tease your brother Izzy!" Lydia scolds, she must've taken pity on me and I was glad for it. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment as I send her a thankful smile. I then reach back to fiddle with the hairs at the nape of my neck, everyone is still staring at me so I know I'm going to need to answer them no matter what. It would seem even worse if I just ignore them in favor of just walking into Magnus's room.

"Well, I uh- I've been working a lot in Dad's absence so I've not spent much time with Magnus, so we're just going to watch some films in his room because mine, y'know, doesn't have a TV." It's not the best explanation I have given, but it's also not the worst so I'm going to take this as a win.

"Sure, you go enjoy you're "films", I'd hurry, wouldn't want to keep Magnus waiting." Isabelle winks at me with a knowing look on her face.

I know I should go and that I shouldn't say anything else because I'm just going to dig myself into a hole and that's not what I need, but I just can't help myself, I feel like I need to explain to her that we were really just going to watch films.

Just as I'm about to though, the door to Magnus's room opens and the man in question steps into view. I really wish he didn't, not right this moment, dressed in what he was dressed in.

He was wearing tight black leggings that clung sinfully to his legs and most likely his ass, although I couldn't be sure because it was covered by a deep purple silk robe that it loosely tied around his abdomen. Calling it tied would be an overstatement. It's only just tied, and just enough that it's holding together, but it's also open enough to show off his glorious chest.

He crosses his arms over said chest, and I begin to worry that the whole robe is about to fall off of him. "There you are Alexander, my darling. I was beginning to think you had changed your mind." He smiles brightly at me then looks at the others in the room. His smile turns into a teasing smirk.

He walks over to me until he is able to wrap his arms around my waist. "Are you all teasing my boyfriend again?" He gently rubs my side comfortingly. I find myself relaxing into his side, enjoying his warmth.

"Oh we wouldn't dream of it dear." Catarina drawls, she had turned back to continue watching the TV.

"I would hope not, all I wanted to do with him is watch some Dirty Dancing." Magnus informs her and I immediately feel my face flushing. I pull back to look at Magnus. My eyes wide and scandalized.

"Magnus! That's- oh god that's not what we were going to do at all!" I am shocked that Magnus would say that so freely and without any shame.

Magnus looks at me, his face confused for a moment before he seems to understand what I was saying. He opens his mouth to say something but all that happens is loud laughter erupts from Jace and Simon, with Isabelle soon joining in.

"Oh, Alec-" Magnus glares at the others. "That's not what I was meaning darling, dirty dancing is a film, a very classic film." Magnus informs me.

I'm suddenly way more embarrassed than I was before. Of course it was a film, I shouldn't have even thought of it being anything else. Magnus wouldn't say something like that when he knew it would just make me uncomfortable.

I take a look around the room, everyone was staring at me once again and Jace was still laughing at me.

I couldn't think of anything to say that would make this any better so with a sigh I awkwardly make my way into Magnus's room, ignoring the way they all watch me as I go.

I'm only in the room for about 10 seconds before Magnus ha entered in behind me, he closes the door before coming over to hug me against him. "I'm sorry for that Darling, I thought you would've known what I was talking about." Magnus sounds guilty and I feel bad for making him feel that way.

"I didn't, but that's okay because you promised to show me and I'm ready to learn." I kiss his head softly to let him know that I was okay and that I wasn't mad at him. Once my lips leave his head, he lifts his head to look at me, a hug smile growing on his face.

"Perfect! but first we have to get this right." Magnus motions at my shirt with his hands. "I want cuddles but if it's okay with you, I also don't want this on." He tugs the hem of my shirt with his hands, he looks a little sheepish. "I'm a very big BIG fan of all of this and I wouldn't mind seeing it again." He smirks at me.

I blush slightly and I take a moment to consider saying no but I see no reason in it. I pull back from him, making him drop his hands and stare expectantly as I replace his hands at the hem of my shirt. I pull it over my head quickly. The brief moment of not being able to see makes me a little uneasy.

When the shirt is off, I go to place it on the desk I'm standing next too, but Magnus just holds out his hands, "Give please." He asks gleefully.

I'm slightly confused but I hand it over to him anyway. As soon as he has it in his hands he is shrugging off the purple robe, letting it pool around his feet in purple silky waves. He then proceeds to replace the robe with my shirt. It's way to big for him but he doesn't seem to care.

He smiles at me as if he didn't just trick me into giving him my shirt, leaving me half naked in his slightly chilly room. "Shall we?" He motions to the bed. I see that he has added several more blankets to the thing and he already has the movie set up to go.

I stand there, a little unsure of myself until I feel him reach out to take my hand in his own. He walks over to the bed, gracefully slipping under the sheets. He pulls me along side him until we are both pressed against each other under the many blankets.

He turns until his head is resting against my neck and shoulder, his hand coming to rest on my stomach. I am a little unsure of where I should place my own limbs but I soon figure it out by wrapping one arm around the back of his head and around his neck, then placing the other around his waist until I call pull him closer to me.

"Ready Darling?" He asks as he reaches for the remote, getting ready to press play.

"Always." I reply before kissing his forehead and relaxing back against the mountain of pillows.

He presses play then snuggles in closer to me as we watch the credits start.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
The next week after that night was blissful. I had dedicated more time to Magnus now that I was okay with asking him to watch things with me. We had managed to get through several of Magnus's favorite films, and I had to admit that I enjoyed most of them. The one's I didn't like were still enjoyable, because I got to watch Magnus whilst he enjoyed himself. Even though he had probably seen these films plenty of times, he still watched them as if this was his first time seeing them.

After that week though, things got a little busier, me with work and Magnus with his school stuff. All his finals were coming up so he was busy studying for those and trying to make last minute touches to his designs. I knew he was going to do amazing, all his designs were beautiful and with the amount of studying he was doing, it would be impossible for him to fail.

It did suck though because it seemed like I never saw him much. Whenever I did see him, he was just going to bed or getting up to meet someone from school that's offered to be their model or something like that. I hate to admit it but I was becoming a little jealous of all these people that he was rushing off to meet.

To distract myself, I throw all I had in me towards work. I was moving up the ranks now that the company had been signed over to Mum. I guess the company didn't like having someone like Dad having control over the business. As I moved up it meant that I had more and more work to do. I had to go over everything Dad was working on and I had to change anything that wasn't right. I gave Simon, Isabelle and Jace all a pay rise, they were seriously getting underpaid for all the work Dad was making them do. I was also going to give them all a Christmas bonus for all the years of crappy pay they had been getting.

I had to change several things in all the departments, Dad clearly had favorites throughout the company. There was a lot of slackers that were getting paid too much money for what they had been doing. They all seemed to be people around the same age as Dad. I even had to fire one because he found out what happened between me and Dad, then found out that his pay was getting slashed.

Let's just say he didn't take it too well and chose to take his anger out on me by saying several things about me and my kind. There was no way I was keeping someone around like that, Mum agreed wholeheartedly with me as she signed his release papers.

I never knew how much of a bad job Dad was doing until I started to take over some of his old responsibilities. He really had no idea what he was doing and only did it because he liked having the power over all the people that were lower down than him, and obviously it gave him a lot of blackmail material over me.

So yeah, there was a lot of damage control being done down at the company and it was proving to be a lot of work. I liked it thought because it kept my mind busy from my jealous feelings. I didn't like that it took away even more time that I could be spending with Magnus, but hey, it was better than nothing.

The only person I really saw nowadays was Raphael and Simon. Simon had already finished all of his finals so he was free to work a little more. He had been helping me with a lot of work down at the offices. He had the natural charm and wit that I didn't have. It helped win people over a little more, made us seem more approachable. I was glad for his help and I don't think I would've achieved half of the things I had, without his help.

And of course I saw Raphael at the flat. He was also in his finials but he had a better coping mechanism for dealing with stress and revision. He came home from college and worked until six, he would then come to my room and ask what I wanted for dinner and if I wanted to help. I always helped because it seemed to be my only break away from work, and I found that I enjoyed Raphael's company.

He understood me and his personality matched mine slightly better than anyone else's. We didn't feel the need to make pointless conversation, but we still managed to find important things to talk about.

After dinner I would sit up with him until about 9pm, helping his study by asking him questions on topics I had no clue of. After that we would both retire to our rooms for a while before one of us would get up to make sure Magnus had eaten. If it weren't for us then Magnus would probably of starved in his room.

A knocking on my office door tells me that I had been lost in my head again.

I startle at the noise before calling for whoever it was to come in. It turns out to be Simon. He smiles brightly when he comes in.

"Hey man, I'm off to lunch with Raphael. Do you want me to bring anything back for you?" He ask before zipping up his jacket.

I look from him to the work sitting out in front of me. I was trying to figure out a new payment system, I need to figure out who was getting paid more than they should. It was grueling work and I really needed a break.

"Nah, I think I'm going to get something to go, need a break from all of this." I say before leaning back to crack all the loose knots in my body.

"Hey! If I'm going out to meet Raphael, why don't you grab something and surprise Magnus with it? I know you've not seen each other a lot, so it would be a nice gesture." Simon suggests, his whole face lights up at the idea. That usually happens when Simon believes he has come up with some brilliant plan.

I have to admit it does sound like a good idea. Magnus would probably love that I thought about him enough to bring him lunch. He always appreciates the little things like that, especially if I'm the one who does it for him.

"You know what, I think I might just do that Lewis." I say before pushing myself up from my chair. "Where are you off to meet Raphael?" I ask him, pulling on my coat at the same time.

"Taki's, walk me? You could get something for Magnus there." Simon suggests and I smile at him. My mood seems to be improved now that I know I'm going to go see Magnus.

"You are just filled with good idea's today Simon, let's go before someone finds up with a problem that they need fixed. " I suggest as I look outside the office door at all the other people milling around doing their jobs.

"Good idea, Laura!" Simon calls over his shoulder at the receptionist sitting outside of my office.

"Off to lunch Mr Lewis, Mr Lightwood?" She asks with a knowing smile. She knows our habits too well by now.

"Lunch Date's Laura, we're off to get our men." Simon jokes and she scoffs.

"I should be telling you off for not doing your work, but then again that was only when Robert was around. I'll make sure to inform anyone who comes knocking, that you are at lunch." She smiles kindly at us.

"Thanks Laura, you're the best. Want me to bring anything back with me?" Simon asks her but she just shakes her head and holds up a small, blue, plastic container that holds two sandwiches in it.

"I'm all set, thank you anyway Mr Lewis." she looks over at me. "Enjoy your lunch Alexander." She bids me.

"Don't worry Laura, I will." I say before bidding her a quick goodbye and leaving with Simon.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Making my way to where I know Magnus would be, was actually pretty easy. It seems that over the past month people have known me to be Magnus's boyfriend.

A couple of people taking the same course as Magnus, actually smile at me as I pass. I have actually began to have a recognizable face here now. I like that people are going to start recognizing me because I'm dating Magnus, it makes everything seem so real.

I make my way to the room I know Magnus would be working in. I have his usual salad clutched in a bag in my hand, it's made exactly how he likes it. He is very particular about his salad, and Taki's is the only place that remember him well enough to make it how he likes it whenever I order it. Another example of how people know me to be dating Magnus.

I smile at the thought, I liked having someone that I could be traced back too. I liked belonging to someone and to have someone belonging to me. Sure that might not be the best way to word it, we don't belong to each other, but it's the best way to describe how I feel.

When I reach the door to Magnus's work place however, I feel the smile fall from my face and ice crawl up my veins.

Magnus is in there with Isabelle, Lydia, and Camille?

I duck behind the door before anyone has the chance to see me.

Since when was Magnus friends with Camille again? I hadn't heard anything of her in the entire month we had been dating. I thankfully and successfully forgotten all about her until this very moment. It seems like Magnus hasn't done the same thing.

A loud peal of laughter makes me peak my way around the door to see what is going on.

They all seem to be eating lunch and joking about something that I could never hope to understand, something to do with fashion. Camille says something to Magnus and the man throws his head back in laughter, in a way he had never done with me. Had I ever made Magnus laugh properly? It was always just a small chuckle whenever I said anything that implied cuddling or a sex joke, but I had never made him laugh like that.

It hurt slightly. I wanted him to laugh like that with me, but I don't know how I'm supposed to do that. Camille is probably good at it because she knows him and has known him longer than I have. They also dated for a very long time so she knows all of his secrets and little quirks that I've hardly had the chance to even explore. She probably ha so much more in common with him also. They both seem to like the social life, they like being the center of attention, whilst I would preferred to be hidden in the background.

I move my sight from Magnus, until it's resting over Isabelle. She looks to be having the time of her life. She is almost sitting on Lydia's lap and her laughter is just as loud as Magnus's. Camille is throwing answers back at every innuendo implied by Isabelle. Half of the stuff they are saying is making me blush. Magnus on the other hand is just about crying with laughter.

Then to my horror I watch as Camille leans over to take a forkful of salad, she then turns to Magnus and feeds the food into his mouth. He takes it willingly and welcomes the small kiss Camille gives to his cheek to get rid of some of the dresses that had hit his face.

My heart crushes in that single moment. Why wasn't he telling her to stop? Isn't that something I should be doing? considering I am his boyfriend. Is that the kind of thing you do with other people you are not in a relationship with?

I must've made a slight noise after witnessing what I just saw, because a second later Camille is looking right at me. There is something weird shining in her eyes, and I can't quite seem to place what it is.

Without taking her eyes off mine, she leans in to whisper something in Magnus's ear. She is way too close for it to be casual but no one seems to stop her as she leans into my boyfriend.

Once she has said what she had to say, she stands up from the fabric covered table they were all sitting at. When she starts to walk my way I duck back behind the door again. I start to wonder if I should just walk away before she could say anything to me, but I guess it's probably best to hear what she has to say, I can't be all that bad right?

"Alec Lightwood, are you here to see your Sister?" Camille asks after she has walked into the hallway and closed the door behind her.

"No, I'm here to see Magnus." I tell her, trying to keep my voice strong, even though I seem to be failing at it. I still couldn't get over what I saw in there.

"Why would you want to do that?" She asks with a small tilt to her head, making her look slightly like a confused dog. Usually a look like that would be cute but this just unnerves me even more.

"Because he is my boyfriend and I haven't seen him in a while?" I tell her and it comes out sounding more like a question, rather than an answer.

Her eyes widen and she staggers back slightly.

"That can't be right, stop lying and stop being so cruel." Her wide eyes begin to narrow as she glares at me. "That is not a funny thing to joke about Lightwood, Magnus is my boyfriend and has been for years." She almost hisses.

My body literally turns to ice at her words. What does she mean that Magnus is her boyfriend? The hadn't been dating in over a month, right?

"No, You cheated on him. We started dating over a month ago." I argue back. My voice quivers and I feel myself starting to shake slightly.

"Then why did we go out to dinner only last week? And why did he spend half of the night at my place two nights ago?" She asks.

I find myself with no words. What she is saying makes sense.

All those times Magnus had to run off to meet someone in the past week, and I remember that night two days ago. I remember Magnus trying to sneak into the house, but he seemed to be a little drunk so he wasn't very quiet. I came out of my room just in time to see a sleepy Raphael helping a disgruntled Magnus get into his room safely, and without damaging anything.

I brushed it off as a study session becoming more interesting. I never even considered Magnus would be staying with his ex, that he had apparently gone on a date with the week before.

"I know you don't want to believe it, and I'm super angry at him myself, but I am telling the truth when I say that I didn't cheat on Magnus. We never broke up at all." I hardly even hear her words.

Everything that had been weird over the past week, and that comment Magnus made a while back about him wanting to cuddle me and watch movies because he was "Neglected", had I pushed him away?

No. That didn't make any sense. Why would he lead me on when he was dating Camille

Was this all just a game to him? Was I just an easy target because of how weak I am. Did he see everything that happened with my father and decide that he would take me for a ride, just for kicks?

Was he trying to force me to come out so that he could fuck and then dump me when he got what he wanted. Perhaps he was only with me this long because he hadn't gotten what he wanted out of me yet. It also makes sense, if he wanted to fuck me then he would've had to try and make me more confident by being my shoulder to cry on.

He encouraged me to come out! He made me think that it would all be okay. Was he just doing this to let me know that it's okay? and that perhaps once I knew this, I would think it was okay to dip into my dizziest and dirtiest daydreams.

"Look, I'm sorry this happened, but I would like to ask if you stayed away from him, this is going to be bad enough for us without you being around." Camille says, suddenly sounding very short. "If you're still hanging around then it's not going to be easy for me to fix what I have with Magnus."

I look at her, she is glaring at me with a sort of gleam in her eyes. It's almost as if she is getting enjoyment out of my pain.

"I uh, yeah... I'll go." and with that inarticulate answer, I turn and make a beeline for the exit. I couldn't stay here another moment, I needed to get home.

Home.

The same home I shared with Magnus.

I couldn't go back there. I know that if I did then Magnus would come home, I'm sure I would just break down. He'd probably kick me out once he knew that I had found out his plan. I would lose him for good, and I would probably lose all the friends I had made over the past two months. Surely they would pick Magnus because they knew him better, and they knew him for longer than they knew me.

Sure I would have my siblings, and maybe Simon and Clary, but I couldn't be sure of that because of who they are. I wasn't the kindest to Clary in the beginning and Simon is dating Raphael.

I had to stop this before I lost anyone for good. I might lose Ragnor or Catarina, but the would always pick Magnus, no matter what.

There is only one thing for me to do, and that is for me to leave.   
  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was hoping that the loft would be empty by the time I got there, but to my luck, Raphael and Simon were there and they were flaunting their happiness by making out on the sofa.

They bounce back away from each other though when they hear the door slam shut behind me. I didn't even know I had shut it that hard, but then again, I don't feel much right now apart from hurt and betrayal.

"Alec, I was just-" Simon starts, as if he thinks I was angry at him but then he stops and looks at me properly before speaking again. "What happened? What's wrong with you?" He gets to stand up but Raphael still has a leg thrown over both of his.

"I'm leaving." I say before turning around and storming into my room. I go right for a large bag under my bed. Sure it won't fit all of my things but it will be big enough to allow a good amount. I will sneak back and get the rest of my stuff when I next know Magnus to be out.

The furniture can wait until I find my own flat. I will get my own flat with one single bedroom and I won't tell anyone where it is, apart from Isabelle and Jace. I don't want anyone else bothering me. Especially Magnus.

Simon and Raphael appear at my door just as I start shoveling random clothes into my bag.

"What the hell do you mean? Where are you going?" Raphael looks confused and slightly concerned. Simon just looks flustered and as if he couldn't figure out why I was acting like this.

"Alec, calm down. Just tell us what's wrong!" Simon bursts before walking slowly into the room. "I thought you were going to surprise Magnus?" He asks. The name brings a flash of pain to my chest and in a surprising fit of anger I lash out at the carefully set out row of scented candles, knocking them all to the floor. Glass smashes across the floor and the smell of sandalwood engulfs the room. It makes my eyes water, whether it's because of the smell or just because I'm hurt.

"Don't. I don't want to talk about him, or too him... ever again." I say before crossing to the side of the bed to collect my phone charger. "He is a liar, and a manipulative asshole. I hate him and I hate that I ever had anything to do with him." I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. I don't hate Magnus, I could never hate him. In fact, I was beginning to think that I-

I loved him.

"Wow, wow, wow. Alec, what did he do? I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding. Why don't I call him and we can settle all of this?" Raphael looks worried. He goes to pull his phone out but I whirl around to face him before he could.

"No! I don't want to talk to him." I turn to shove my laptop into my bag, after that I pull the bag shut. "If you really want to know all the details, you can just ask his girlfriend." and with that last sentence, I swing the bag up onto my shoulder.

They both stand there in shock as I barge past them.

I exit the house with a heavy and broken heart. This is not how I saw today going and everything in me wanted to go back into the loft and wait for Magnus to return. I wanted him to hold me and tell me that it was all a misunderstanding, like what Raphael had suggested. I wanted him to run his hand through my hair (it always seemed to calm me down) and tell me that it would be okay and that Camille was just some bitch that wanted to see me hurt.

I wanted to tell him I loved him.

It was never going to happen.

So as soon as I am outside, I'm hailing a cab and I'm not going to look back. 


End file.
